God Notions

Genesis 16:13

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” 

As a child, I was told to behave because God is watching. That always promoted fear of a God I couldn’t see, but who could see me. When Hagar runs away from her troubles, some no fault of her own, God asks where she has come from and where she is going. Hagar’s reaction to being confronted with the God who sees her, comforts me.

The angel of the LORD tells Hagar to return to the one who had mistreated her, Hagar’s mistress, Sarai. Hagar adjusts her attitude toward her problem, is obedient to the angel of the LORD, and goes back.  

Looking back, I know that by the grace of God my life has been protected and even spared. Some hardships were not my fault, caused by the actions of others. Other hardships have been the result of poor choices and my self-effort to make things work. Regardless, many times I just wanted to run away where no one knows me, to have a  fresh start… if it wasn’t for the God who sees me. Where can I hide?

I can’t honestly say I went back to all situations because I would have gotten hurt, but I did go back and revisit my past actions and decisions. It became clear that I needed to take a more proactive part in how I live my life and not just move through each day as it came. I decided to be intentional about following Christ and the decisions I would make for my future.

I quickly found being a follower of Jesus, obedient to His leading, could cause me some discomfort. Making decisions that were not popular to the people who were used to me compromising was difficult too.  I had to be brave to be obedient. I had to think before speaking and acting. I changed my daily focus to the God who sees me instead of trying to hide; I turned back to Him.

By trusting Jesus and turning back, facing my problems, my poor habits, and lack of good ones, I found my God, El Roi, God who sees, is patient and slow to anger. I found He leads me toward blessing and away from harm. I have found when I follow Christ Jesus and act out of obedience and love for Him first, though sometimes, right choices I have to make are still hard and maybe even unpopular with others, He who sees me and knows me, never leaves me but always, always guides and provides.