God Notions

I am struggling

Friends, I have had a very hard time this past couple of weeks trying to figure out how to put into words what has been on my mind. I have had friends who have had a great loss this past month. Loss of a loved one to addiction and one by their own hand.

I sat next to one friend in church and asked, “How are you?” He said, “Hanging in there.” I had no reply. I sat there knowing the desperation of clinging to the last thread of hope I could grasp. Sometimes I have felt I was clinging to the thread of the hem of Christ’s garment by the tips of my nails I have chewed off, holding on for life, my life. Clinging not to fall farther into the darkness of despair.

Why have some been able to hang in there until the trial has passed and others not? It pains the depths of my heart to think of letting go of that hold, thinking there is nothing else, all hope is lost, not even a glimmer.

I think of the woman in the bible, Mark 5, who out of desperation believes if even to touch the garment of Christ she will be healed. What if Jesus had not healed her? What if Jesus kept this healing a secret or the woman had not come forward. I believe the reason for this recount is for us, who are left behind. I believe Jesus stopped and would not move on until the woman came forward to record for all time that even the faintest amount of faith is enough. Even without understanding, she didn’t know how Jesus could help her, she just had hope, a glimmer of faith. And that was enough.

What do we do when all seems lost or hopeless to change? We cling to Christ and remember His faithfulness. We have to cling to the hope that our loved one will hang on. We have to trust Him that He was there when our loved one let go.

We, as believers have to continue to point back to Christ Jesus, who makes all things new. Not all new things…all things new. He restores, He heals, He sustains and He lives. Our Lord is alive! Our God is The Living God, not the god of the dead.

We do not understand all things, we don’t have to. We have His Word and the testimony of others. We have our testimony. Testimonies come out of pain and loss. This life can be hard, but this life is what God has given us to glorify Him. How do we? We love God with all our heart and mind. We love our neighbor as ourselves. We always point to Christ in all circumstances as the reason for our hope and faith for what is and is to come.

Lord, I believe. Help me with my unbelief.