God Notions

2 Corinthians 4   Cast Down but Unconquered

I found myself at a place where I was saying, “Lord, I can’t anymore, but I know you can.” I had to take a truthful look at my life; I thought I understood, that I knew, I thought my ways were right, and my definitions were God’s definitions. I thought He approved of my ways, the truth is: I was hiding my motives, thinking I was clever enough to fool God, but I was the one being fooled.  

I had looked to family, I had looked to friends. I looked to my pastor and the pastor’s wife. I wanted to set my standards high but all my self-efforts ended in my failure.  I wasn’t sure if I could trust what believed, what if I was crazy, what if I am being fooled? Reliving the regrets, the people and places I had left pieces of myself, most times ignoring that small still voice inside me. I stood looking in the mirror as if seeing myself for the first time. Seeing a vessel so empty and dry, like the dry clay earth begging for relief but the relief was never enough.  

Yet the Lord kept calling me: softly, gently, never leaving me comfortable with where I was. He put in my heart and mind a desire to be whole and it wasn’t until I was broken that I could see… that I could understand, that I agreed… He is right and I was wrong.  

I began to look to Jesus and compare everything to what He taught and lived. I recognized how His death wasn’t only a gift of salvation, but an example of laying down self…my whole self, in obedience to the Father, His Father, Our Father, my Father. I began to examine how followers of Jesus lived daily, not in perfect obedience but with a heart for pleasing and honoring God. Some were whole shells, some were Ferraris, and some were broken vessels restored to a wholeness that could outshine any star! 

How can it be that surrendering brought courage and hope? I had joy in my heart and a smile on my face. No, life hadn’t gotten better in itself, the change was within me, I was different, I was restored. Above all else, I was not alone, I learned Jesus truly didn’t leave us as orphans to try to figure things out all by ourselves. We have the Holy Spirit and the Holy Bible: God’s living word, loving word for me… for you. 

4:7-9 We have this treasure within us, these jars of clay, to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not ourselves. We are pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair: persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.

We are forgiven. We are restored. We are loved.