God Notions

There are days that I question everything. My choice of profession, getting married, staying married, having children and raising children. I wonder about the state of the world and the state of human beings. Finances are a constant struggle as well as maintaining our home, my health, and the health and condition of my family. It seems just when I think I have found balance something else is added to my juggling struggle.

Recently, I was so overwhelmed by everything. I could not look and see my way out of anything. My focus had been on my trials. The burden of maintaining my worries, along with my lack of sleep, our lack of finances and my lack of faith left me feeling so very alone even though I had not been.

I was standing in line at the grocery store and over heard this woman talking on her phone. “And then she said…” was all I heard. I strained to hear her conversation. Then again, all I could hear: “and then she said…”. What did “she ” say I wondered. It sounded interesting, a diversion from my worries. Something I would wonder for a short time, but would never know.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I made lists in my head. I had heated conversations with people who were absent, and probably completely unaware I hold issue with them. I got out of bed and went upstairs to sit in the dark and converse with God. Why do I so often think of him last?

I sat in the dark looking out into the night. Angry tears and desperate tears would fall freely. I cried until I suddenly noticed that out there in the night, the light of the moon was pushing back the darkness. I was silent as I sat there taking in the quiet peace. My focus changed from myself and on to the One who made the light that pierced the darkness. The One who gave order to the night. The One who gave order and sustained all creation. My worries and me became very small as the LORD of all filled my eyes with wonder, my mind with awe and my heart with peace.

And there I was, in the dark remembering the woman in line but hearing instead, “ And God said,”

And God said… and it came into being. And it was good. It was perfect. He was intentional in His order and purpose. He didn’t just go about making fish without water, or fruit without seed. He didn’t wring his hands or pace the floor wondering how He would manage all the water he had created. He created with order because He is the God of order. He gave thought to his actions. He has a plan for today and tomorrow.

I however, usually create chaos. I fail to keep order in anything for very long. I am constantly putting out fires because I over schedule or try to squeeze in “one last thing” moments before I have to leave home or work. Therefore, I am usually rushed through my day with no true rest and little peace.

If I truly want a life of order and peace, I have to make a change. If I want order in my day, in the moments that make up my day that add up to my life, I will have to seek His wisdom in how to live and spend and make decisions.

What changes will I make? If I want order, rest and peace I have to start with a plan. Here are 3 ways I plan to start my intentional living. I will let you know how I do.

• I will get up 30 minutes earlier to read scripture asking Jesus for understanding and for His help in ordering my day. I will end my day with a list of my priorities for the next day.
• I will make a list of daily chores including laundry, then dividing them among the days and time I have before/ after work. Breaking them down into smaller bits, even just 15 minutes, so my home is clean and orderly. I will use this list to keep me on track weekly.
• Keep all receipts so I can see where I am spending money. I will look at this at the end of the month to see where I need to tell myself, ”No.”

My Prayer:

Holy Almighty God,

You are the God of order and purpose. You are intentional in all you do. Your plan and timing are perfect.

Help me Jesus to live a life of order in all areas of my life. Lord, I want you to be first in all I think, say, and do.

Please help me to live a life that glorifies you.