God Notions

Matthew 5:43-45

…love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven

Somehow anger and bitterness grew deep within her. Anger almost consumes me, if it had not been for my LORD who held me from falling into that abyss.

Days turn to years and my smile returns. I love my Lord even more. I am sunshine and salt. My heart sings and I am glad… until I remember. Remembering is the hardest because in remembering there is no answer to why. How long Lord before they realize their offense and pay? Thank you, Lord, that I am yours. That I can have peace… until the next time I remember.

One day I went back to wallow in my anger and bitterness. I realized I like the wallowing, it’s comfortable. The anger and bitterness are familiar, unkind friends I allow into my inner heart, where they destroy until I cry out to God.

I don’t want this anymore, how do I move on without justice?

I thought… I am a Christian. I am a committed Christian. Jesus is my Lord, my Savior, and my friend. I love him with my whole heart.

I asked God to let me see myself as he sees me…without Christ.

I was prepared to accept that I have room for improvement, but all in all, I was expecting: “well done good and faithful servant.”

What came over me was a realization of darkness, loneliness, and separation. I even felt a whisper of wrath from my beloved God. I was broken-hearted, surprised, and very humbled. Nothing about me makes me acceptable to God. Nothing…only Jesus.

Thinking His answer to my next question would be worse…

I asked,” Let me see others as you see them.”

I could see for the first time my enemies and how God sees my enemies. I felt love. Big Love. I felt the mercy he had for them. I felt the strong desire God has for those who are separated from him. His want for them to have the rest and peace only He can provide. I felt an overwhelming compassion for those who had hurt me. I felt in my heart for the first time the grand love God has for mankind. My anger and bitterness fell away. I was free.

I am so thankful I am not lost but welcomed into the kingdom of God. He welcomes me because of his son Jesus, there is nothing I can do but accept the gift of life and freedom Jesus offers.

If I was a friend of a prince or a president’s child and I came to their door and said,” Can I come in? I am a friend of your son.” The king or president would send me away, saying, “I do not know you. My son has not mentioned you.” But, if the prince or president’s child says, “Father, I know her, it is okay for her to come in. She is my friend.” Then I am welcomed. Not because of me but because of my relationship with the father’s beloved son.

The way is narrow, only through Christ Jesus can anyone hope for salvation and reconciliation.

It is narrow…but it is open to all.