Psalm 84
I have been asking a question of others that was presented to me a few weeks ago. I was looking to truly delve into my heart, my soul, to look for the answer. I thought asking others would help me find my answer, but it didn’t. I had to think for myself. I had to go back in my mind and dig.
What is the hardest thing God has asked you to do?
My life, like yours, has had its share of hardships, trials, and hard lessons. My first thought was about going through these trials. Many were heart-wrenching, bring me to my knees hard. Others might be more of my being ashamed of something I said or did in the past that I wish I could take back. Either way, whichever moment I thought of, God was there at some point, pulling me up, brushing me off, and setting me upright again. But what was the hardest?
I finally realized the hardest thing God has asked of me is to trust Him. I argued with myself, or was it with God. Of course, I trust Him. Do I believe Him? Yes, I do. With the first step? What!?
Do I truly trust God enough? Do I believe Him?
Trust God? Believe God? Of course, the answer is a resounding, YES! But, would I step into a fiery furnace? Would I go to my death for my faith in Christ? I could not even mention my Lord’s name to the Walmart cashier when prompted by the Holy Spirit. All the what-ifs filled my head as quickly as the Spirit moved me to speak. Fear kept my mouth shut.
That vast chasm filled with fear, self-preservation, the ever attacking what-ifs, and the defiant shouts of, “I don’t want to.” keep me right in my comfort zone. But God doesn’t stop. He continues drawing me out to the place I almost fear the most, complete Trust.
When I can’t see what is next when the path is not clear, and I am not in control, whether a split second or a series of days, I battle in my mind with the One who knows all, sees all, and is sovereign over all things. If this scenario weren’t so exhausting, it would be funny. (Thank you, LORD, for Your patience and mercy with me.)
When has God been late? When has He not kept His word? Has God ever lied? Has He ever unjustly disciplined? Lastly, I ask myself. Has the LORD ever asked me to do something that wasn’t for my good or the good of others? No, He has not. That is hindsight, though. If only I had foresight.
Foresight defined, is the ability to predict or the action of predicting what will happen or be needed in the future.
Here lies my problem. I cannot predict what will happen or what needs to happen in the future. Deeper still, predict does not mean know. I do not know what will happen or what needs to happen in the future. But I do know the One who does.
Our Father has gone to great lengths to show us He is trustworthy and dependable. He has cleared the way for all to come and live a life free from fear. He has given us the greatest gift for life eternal, through His only Son, Christ Jesus. Some will say this is narrow, and I agree it is, but this Way is open to all. Open to ALL who will trust and take that first step, not knowing what is next. God reveals in His time, and His wisdom is beyond our most intelligent thought. His ways are illogical to me sometimes, but in hindsight, they are the most brilliant!
Jesus died to give us life. He is the King who came in poverty. He rules over all creation, yet came to the world as a servant. He submitted to His Father’s will, to death He was obedient because He knows and trusts His Father. Our Father.
I want to trust entirely in all things God calls me to do, big and small. I do trust completely; I do believe Him. His word is trustworthy. I do believe, and yet this trust is the hardest thing God has ever asked me to do.
Mark 9 “I do believe, help me with my unbelief!”
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